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April 13th

Crude, artificial… can’t stop listening.

My career has taken me back to Central Jersey, where I work in a tiny startup with the entire staff in a single room. No longer in hipster New York City, the music of choice is more Billboard than Pitchfork.

As part of some sick joke, I get to hear Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” at least once a day. That song encapsulates everything I hate about modern music.

- It’s a mess of bad lyrics and excessive autotuning.

- She has the most irritating voice ever, like a teenage boy AFTER puberty.

- At the office, the joke has escalated into a full on karaoke session. They’re lucky I like the job.

Despite all that, I can’t excise the song from my head. One of the benefits of autotune, besides turning talentless eye candy into “singers”, is making hooks immediately recognizable. Combined with lyrics that are essentially one long commercial, no surprise it’s a #1 hit, thanks to listeners that can’t get out of their heads.

I can’t tell you which part of Joanna Newsom’s Good Intentions Paving Company I like, but I can easily recite which part of Party in the USA annoys me the most (all of it).

Now excuse me while I prepare for the mandatory jam session of this song.

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