You are reading...

January 17th

With promises of heading over to Chinatown, my mom tricked me into going to Willowbrook Mall. Bloomingdales was having a sale on all of its fur coats. Despite being a “sale” most coats were in the four figure range and I didn’t have 3k to loan to my mom.

I was disappointed that PETA didn’t show up. Then again, in one of the coldest days ever, railing against coats won’t get any attention. I am also disappointed there were no fur that looked like any of the dead animals. Why do I have to read the label when they should have kept the head on the coat?

I should have done a Cruella Deville impression and asked the sales people for “101 dalmatians”. They probably would have looked at me like I’m George Takei.

Ironically, the only person that purchased anything was me. I bought a new pair of shoes. Like any real man, the process only took five minutes. You know, so the women can waste the rest of the hour.

I kid. We also stopped by Burlington Coat Factory. That place was about one or ten notches below Bloomingdales. Despite the image, department stores have some cheap high-quality shit too if you combine enough sales prices and coupons, something my mom mastered. No need to go to Burlington Coat Factory (shudder) for a good deal.

Fortunately, after a quick “WTF” moment, we did head over to Chinatown. Which led to…

*next post*

Go home